I skipped writing a year in review in 2022 because nothing much happened. I was caught up in getting a degree and everything moving countries comes with that I just decided to not document. This year though was different and I chose to write it from the lens of gratitude. Because I truly am grateful for the people in my life.
I look at the love that I get from my friends and I want to bawl my eyes out. I mean that of family I understand but friendship I’m always in awe of. It is wild, very wild that I met these people at random points in my life and we all went “Aiite bet, let's do life together”. I think friendships are one of the best things to ever exist. The choice to just love someone else and be there for each other — Just because. I say this because:
It was my friend who listened to me at the start of the year while I ranted to him about my job-hunting woes, and then took it upon himself to mentor me through the entire process. From sending me job opportunities to referring me for job roles to coaching me through interviews, he gave me the gift of his time to ensure I wasn’t alone in the muddy waters of job hunting. You know how chaotic it is if you’ve spent reasonable time job hunting. The longer it takes, the easier it is for you to lose yourself. You forget who you are because the job market keeps telling you you’re not enough. For this I’m grateful, I do not take for granted the platonic love that saw me through.
And it was my babes that I ran to every time I had a job interview. It was them who prepped with me, who chanted my praise and reminded me I was a superstar. Because like I said, sometimes you forget, not because anything has changed but because life tuff.
And it was my sister whom I cried to about being sick and not seeing anyone for days. Not because I didn’t have friends, we were all just scattered far and wide and no one could physically come see me. And when I could not take being in the UK anymore, it was my friends and family who welcomed me with open arms back home. I took a month's break from adulting and it's these people that healed me from the inside out. Not to lie, being in the sun also helped a lot 😆.
And when I got back to the UK, it was the friends I made at my part-time that made it worth going. It was them who made every shift a little more bearable than the last. It was them I looked forward to seeing at work and hanging out with after work till late.
And when it was time for me to go for my first Umrah in April, and I was not feeling ready or worthy because of the level of my faith, it was my friends who supported me through my doubts. They sent me Quran verses and helped me prepare for the trip because it was not by my will that I made it there. Allah invited me to his house and I was worthy of his mercy. A friend of mine even read a whole book on preparing for Umrah and summarised it for me so I was not overwhelmed with preparations. My friends brought me closer to the Deen and for that I am thankful.
And when my birthday came in May, it was my friends who put money together for my first camera because they knew how much I wanted it. Even though I didn’t want to make a fuss this year because again life tuff, it was my friends who celebrated with me at midnight and went out to dinner with me in the evening. It was them who made sure I dressed up and took amazing pictures because that's typically how I roll. Birthdays are a big deal to me. It's like — if you don’t celebrate you, who will? I mean how do you ask others to?
And when my graduation rolled by in June, it was my friends and family who flew from different parts of the world to come for my graduation party because they knew how much it meant to me. It wasn’t just those who came down to Scotland, it was every single one of the people I call my friends showing up in their own ways to celebrate me. My degree was a lot. It shook me to my core. I don’t think it was the school work because y’all know I like school 😅, it was more of the moving and adjusting to living alone in the UK.
And July was a blur because it's difficult to see when your vision is blocked in the search for the one thing you desperately need — A job. It was difficult for me because even in Nigeria, the toughest of markets then, I got a good job right after NYSC in a field that I’d just entered. And when I got frustrated with the job, I changed fields with ease and started all over. You see, one thing I am is a SUPERSTAR 🌟. Academically o, work o, hobbies o, anything I dedicate my energy to, I’m good at Alhamdulilah. So for a superstar to not superstar? It messed with me, it messed with me a lot. It also made it clear to me that much of my self-worth was rooted in my external achievements. Not a very fun realisation tbh. it felt like nothing was working out, looking back this is how I feel about this situation 👇🏾👇🏾
And when I finally got an interview that will change everything? It was my friend who reviewed my presentation slides and hyped me up for the interview. I ended the slides with a picture of me telling them to hire me😆, I was that confident.
And when I finally got a job in August, and I was too tired to be excited, it was my friend who got me the biggest bunch of flowers and insisted we must celebrate. And when I got a second job offer and I was trying to be modest about it, it was my friends who reminded me that superstar was back and I must shine! It was they who giggled and kicked their feet because this was a communal joy. It was here, finally, and we were happy. It was also my friends from my part-time who threw me a farewell party to wish me well and cheer me on to greater heights.
And when day 1 of my new job rolled around, I woke up to prayers and well wishes from everyone wishing me the very best. The day ended and I had to recount it to multiple people because everyone wanted to knoww 🤣.
And when I decided to take my fitness journey seriously in September, it was my friends and family who encouraged me through it. From fitness tips to being on calls with them during my workout sessions so I don’t get bored. I also got used to the corporate UK — think lingua, the way everything works, the everything in between.
And when I wanted to move in October because I needed more space for my work-from-home set-up, it was a friend who introduced me to someone else who also needed a flat, and btw is also now a friend of mine. I mean I desperately wait for this clown to come home so I can gist with her 😌. Sidebar my mum came to Glasgow in October and it was really nice to show her my home because somehow that's what Glasgow has now become to me. I travel out of Glasgow a lot but it's home and will probably be for the foreseeable future.
And when November stormed in with the cold, it was time for my best girl's wedding in Nigeria and I stormed right out of the UK 😆. I was too excited to be home! The duality of what home means to me right now is something I find fascinating. Nigeria will always be home to me but it isn’t where I live. Sadly, it will never be what I used to know either. The people, and things that made it home mostly do not exist here anymore so the nostalgia is really all I have. Back to the wedding, it was the most fun I’ve had the whole year! I spent a week dancing and dancing because there is unexplainable joy in seeing your person find their person. I was also able to spend quality time with my brother. I’ve missed so much of him growing up that it makes me sad. My baby is no longer a baby 🥹.
And December came with so much unprecedented joy. So much happiness and goodness for me and all of mines that it felt like my heart wanted to burst on multiple occasions. On different cold and windy December evenings;
A friend moved out of Glasgow and while it was for a good cause, my heart broke to pieces because of how much I’ll miss them,
I went for a work dinner like a stunner,
I met a boy I like,
Cooked and ate ramen at the grocery store just like in the Kdramas
I went to Edinburgh with my friends,
My girl graduated from Uni (Distinction girlie),
Stopped talking to a boy I like,
Went to London for the best staycation ever,
And hosted an end-of-the-year party with my flatmate,
Resumed talking to a boy I like.
I call it a December to remember because it was one for the books! The good books. I had such a good time Alhamdulilah.
For these, I am very grateful and I hope I’m a decent friend to Y’all as y’all are to me.
My word for 2024 is love. And this cuts across everything. Let me explain
I want to get a job I absolutely love. I spend way too much time at work and I want to be happier at it.
I want to nurture the friendships I’ve built with love, so much love that makes my heart flutter.
I want to fall in love with my deen some more because tbh that's the primary reason we’re here. I want to love doing my good deeds because of the day when that will be all that matters.
I want to fall deeply and shamelessly in love romantically. I know how fiercely I love and I think it's time to bring that side of me back. I’ve spent the past two years buried in survival mode that I just forgot myself? I think this tweet sums up what I want:
Above all, I want to keep loving myself at every stage that I am. I want to be kind and gentle to myself even when I don’t get things right. I want to be as compassionate to myself as I would be to others because I am the only thing I truly own.
I leave you with this quote about love by Alfred Tennyson
“It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all” May we always find the strength to keep loving even when it fails us sometimes.
Till next time,
Hopefully very soon,
Yeni baby,
The real OG.
