I always have a lot to write about. A lot. Most times I write as the inspiration comes and leave it halfway. I am always too lazy to edit. But this one, this one I must complete.
It's pretty much about asking. you know, asking for things. Opening your mouth and asking for things. Not in an entitled spoilt brat manner who demands things from people, NO. It's basically putting yourself out there and asking for opportunities. I’ve always heard the if you don’t ask you’ll never be given phrase, but lowkey I’m always like I don’t want to bother anyone please, I can’t stress. I think it also comes from a place of pride, a feeling of “Make nobody insult me abeg”. Of course, I don’t mean you should let people walk over you, but dunno there was the reluctance to ask for things. But as I sat behind my laptop taking a course on Coursera from Pwc that I got for free via a financial aid application, I realized that the need to put yourself out/ask for things cannot be overemphasized.
Let me put it in context. I'm a loudmouth on Twitter and WhatsApp but I have a timid side that hates hates hates confrontation (I like fight now sha because who nice epp). so I won't ask for favours, won't complain about vendors rubbish I’ll just never go back, won't return bad food, leaves mad people to do their thing because: Bigger person etc etc. Come August 22nd I went shopping with my mum and we paid with her card. She was wondering why the balance was so low and I'm like Idk, I didn't buy so much. Later on, she figured she’d been charged 45 dollars for a service I paid for but forgot about. I was pained of course because at the point I wasn't really using the service. I apologized and moved on but made a mental note to cancel before the next due date.
Fast forward three days later I was trying to cancel but didn’t get access to my account. I reached out to a friend who works there and explained the situation snd she asked me to send them a mail. She chipped in that If I want a refund, I should state it there too. I was hoping she could help me get it sorted but I had to go to the battle line myself. Okay nau, no wahala let’s go send mail. I mailed them and almost immediately they responded, cancelled the subscription and viola gave me a refund. I’m like what????! That was easyy. Whoa! okayyyy. Interesting. I called my mum and she was elated because she got her money back. That done I’m like hmmn, okay okay make sense.
In another scenario, we used to do free monthly certifications/ courses at my former workplace it was my turn to pick a course. I tell my colleague to recommend a course and he sends me a PWC paid course. I tell him this isn’t free nau and he casually says: there’s financial aid available sha so you can take it. I ignore it for like two days but it was a topic that looked quite interesting so I’m like okay whatever, I’ll go check it out again. I get there and as expected I’m to write essays. Typically I’d have left but I’m like why the fuck not? So I send in my very first essay draft (don’t try this at home please, I’m a bad beesh can’t say the same for you. Edit your essays! Read through multiple times before submitting o) They respond and said it’ll take two weeks. And I forgot about it. Come two weeks later I get a mail that I can now take the course for free. I’m like, whattttt???? Errr that was easyyyyyy. PS: Coursera gives you financial aid anyways, Just write a good story and submit and get your courses for free. Please take advantage of this guys. I find it pretty amazing how little effort gets you courses. This was August 2020 and I still use the same drafts to date to get courses for free.
Third example and a not so easy situation. I bought a meal plan in October 2019 and they sent me the recipe by mail. The weekly plan was exclusive to WhatsApp and I got it at the time. It was supposed to be a challenge kinda thing so I was busy and didn’t participate. Fast forward to August 2020 I decided to do this challenge. I’d changed phones so I didn’t have the weekly plan anymore. Went to my portal to download *took a long pause from writing this*
I’m back now. So as I was saying, my link had expired and of course no weekly plan. I mailed them they made reference to the downloads tab on my portal and I should take note of the expiry date. Long story short after a series of back and forth mail where I appealed for assistance as I didn’t want to purchase a new plan just to get the weekly menu, the head decided to be considerate and reset my links for me which gave me access to download. I was grateful and that ended there.
I’m adding a last and pretty recent scenario, I got my current job because my friend mentioned to a friend of hers that I was looking to leave my current role at the time. He took note of it and when there was an opening at this firm, he sent me a mail to send my CV to and I’m here today. I had never met this person before, they couldn't vouch for me or anything either. But, my friend had asked on my behalf, she literally put me out there and Alhamdulilah.
I have a lot and I mean a lot of instances where asking for stuff has allowed me get it. Things I wouldn't have gotten otherwise. My point is. What if I didn’t ask? What if I didn’t send that mail? Or that message or that application? What if? Well, I’ll be $45 short and have no diet plan with no course to take Shikena. It's very possible I could have done all these and not gotten a positive response. The diet company would insist on their policy and apologize for my inconvenience which equals no plan. Coursera could have slammed me a NO and said I’m not worthy of financial aid and the service company could insist on no refunds. All of these outcomes are kinda fine because oh well, at least I tried. It saves me from wondering ‘what if?’ because I am sure I tried, I asked.
I want to ask you, What have you tried lately? What have you asked for? That new job you’re not qualified for? Apply for it. The company could be willing to train!! But you’ll never know. That scholarship?! My dear write your essay and send it in. They might just be looking for someone like you. I leave you with this tweet from the writer of an awesome newsletter I receive.
“I know, it takes a lot to put yourself out there. But when I am shy or frustrated, I remember how many times Nigerian men have faced ela from girls they like, yet they still keep it moving.”
Keep it moving my darlings, It can be hard but put yourself out there as much as you can! Ask, just ask!
PS: I wrote this first draft over a year ago, It took me months to get back to finetuning it. I have been very busy (excuses), but it's out here now so I’m happy.
Be better than me, stay consistent.
Till next time,
Most likely when I write my year in retrospect,
stay Jiggy,
Yeni baby.
